Single parenthood is on the rise
It has been said in a thousand different ways over millennia, but has never been more meaningful than in the modern age, and has not been better stated than when Freud himself opined that he could not "think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."
Single parenthood is a growing phenomenon in North America. For the first time in its history, there are more unmarried people than married people in Canada by a ratio of 51% to 49%. And of those who remain unmarried, a staggering 26% are single parents. The majority will be accounted for by divorce and non-marital procreation.
While many persist in associating single parenthood with women, the "number of men at the head of single-parent families is growing more than twice as fast as the number of women." The U.S. reflects a similar pattern, it being noted that while 13 million children now live in single parent households, 2.5 million of these are being raised by their fathers. In Canada, by 2006, nearly 20% of single parents were fathers. The number of single fathers in the country doubled from 1981 to 2001 from a little less than 120,000 to over 300,000. Because they are men, figures of hubris, capability, authority and dominance, single fathers caring for their children are often considered heroic while simultaneously being dismissed as not requiring help.
Divorce and multiple partner fertility have contributed to the dramatic increase in single fatherhood
High rates of divorce and the phenomenon of multiple partner fertility are two factors creating a trend toward single parenthood, and more specifically, single fatherhood. More fathers, than in previous history, are either raising their children alone or are being awarded regularly-scheduled visits with their children following the dissolution of a marriage. And with greater social acceptance of out-of-wedlock childbearing, more men are having children with multiple partners. In the U.S., by 2002, it was estimated that approximately 1 in 10 men had had children with multiple partners, putting the children born outside of a marriage at a disadvantage in being deprived of their father's care, time and economic assistance.
Single fathers have it rough financially
Apart from supporting themselves, single fathers are expected to provide monthly ongoing financial support to their children, and occasionally the mother, and often pick up the tab for child care, summer camp, club memberships, extracurricular activities, school supplies, and school trips. Due to the perception of their formidability, their physical strength, their authority and economic advantage, these men are often unfairly perceived as being less in need of support, encouragement and even social services. Furthermore, many struggle with the fact that they do not see their children 'often enough' and cannot consistently protect them from various dangers and vulnerabilities. Good single fathers may grieve privately for their children, may miss them on a day to day basis, may relish their once every two week opportunity to put Toaster Strudels in the oven and enlist help to wash the car. They may be frustrated that they cannot bring their child to Disneyland for vacation because annual vacation time is reserved for grandparents living at a distance, that they must carefully check their bank balance because after the house, car, gas, cable, phone, child support, childcare fees, alimony and other incremental costs have been paid, there is a meagre remainder. And these dads will do this, sometimes in despair, and with a lack of adequate social supports.
Single fathers will struggle financially in a way not generally experienced by married parents, and they are often legally, socially and politically neglected. Nevertheless, a good single dad who loves his children well, can lay his head down at night knowing that he has done the best he can to provide the love, support and protection required by those fortunate enough to be his children.
Sources
Married People Outnumbered for the First Time: Census The Canadian Press, CBC News, http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2007/09/12/census-families.html , Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Amanda Morin, "Fathers Raising Daughters: The Unique Challenges of Single Fatherhood," www.education.com 2006, http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Fathers_Raising_Daughters/
Rob Campbell, Heads Up Dad: Rate of Single Fathers Increases in Canada, November 18, 2010, http://blog.headsupdad.com/2010/11/18/rate-of-single-fathers-increases-in-canada-heres-a-list-of-places-for-single-dads-to-meet-women/
Cassandra Logan, Jennifer Manlove, Erum Ikramullah, Sarah Cottingham, "Men Who Father Children with More Than One Woman: A Contemporary Portrait of Multiple Partner Fertility." Child Research Brief – www.childtrends.org, http://www.childtrends.org/Files/Child_Trends-2006_11_1_RB_MultiplePartners.pdf , November, 2006
Donna Shaw - Donna Shaw is an administrative professional with the municipal government, a freelance writer and mom to beautiful Brooke. She has ...
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